Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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