It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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