Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
