ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
