do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
