So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
