ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i think my mom watched the whole time
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
