I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
