Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
