I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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