No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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