I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
