I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
