Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
