small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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