Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think we might need a safe word for this...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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