I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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