But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
