I wanna passion pit in your ass
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize