I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i drank out of a bidet.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
