i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize