I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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