Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby

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(323): View more from California

Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.

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(905): View more from Toronto

we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee

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(212): View more from New York

Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.

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(518): View more from New York

Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.

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(260): View more from Indiana

After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis

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