i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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