I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
