Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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