Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Help. Why am I so naked?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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