this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize