I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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