Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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