like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
