Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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