so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i think my cat just said my name.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
