My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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