I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize