Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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