Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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