i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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