You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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