I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
