just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize