Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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