You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
