can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
