just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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