Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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