mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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