You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
