just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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