If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We are all done wearing pants today
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
