Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize