two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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