Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
