I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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