i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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