so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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