You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
