Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
