absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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