hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
