Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
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